Russian Roulette
by kiinchu
Summary: - the practice of loading a bullet into one chamber of a revolver, spinning the cylinder, and then pulling the trigger while pointing the gun at one's own head.
1. Chapter 1

**Russian Roulette**

...

_"What are we going to do?"_

_The man looked down at the forehead protector in his hands, his pale eyes narrowing as he stared at the engraving on the metal. It was at this moment that the light drizzle of rain turned into a downpour, but he still did not move as the ground around him began to flood and the bodies that lay dormant on the forest floor began to sink into the mud._

_"Our numbers have fallen," the man finally spoke to his comrade, lifting his head up to face the sky. His pale eyes closed, his brown hair sticking to his face. "But we will still rise."_

...

**Chapter One: Begin**

...

She was late.

She was _always_ late.

It was surprising that she arrived at all, and that even after her arrival the proctors continued to let her participate - even if she would be the last prospect they saw, she could still take the test and she still had some hope of becoming a genin.

The eyes of the last Uchiha narrowed as he exited the testing room, seeing her face twisted up with nerves as she patiently sat behind Naruto. Her presence alone bugged him, and just one look into those ridiculous eyes of hers could give him a headache. She was almost worse than the blonde in front of her when it came to skill, and more annoying than the Haruno girl when it came to presentation.

Sasuke knew he shouldn't feel this way - knew he should have just left her very being alone, but there was something about Kikyo Kui that just sent him over the edge.

He felt her eyes on his back as he exited the room, and his last thought was of ripping them out of her obnoxious, scarred sockets.

...

Kikyo had made sure she was up two hour before the Graduation exam had started. She had eaten first to give her stomach time to digest the food that could possibly come back up if her nerves were too high, showered, and then went outside to watch the sunrise as she always did on important days. But it was as the sun was rising that her breath hitched and her body convulsed - only one, violent tremor, and she was sent into a world of blackness she had not yet known had to escape from.

Luckily, as fate would have it Kakashi had been coincidentally following a black cat on his way to the training grounds, and had stopped by to check on the young child before he spent his morning sulking at the same stone he had visited every day for years.

Kakashi had known the girl long enough to know that simply waking her up would not work - he had to stimulate almost all four of her senses at the same time, had to shock her body back into reality. It had taken him _years_ to figure out how exactly to do it, and the act itself was so mortifying he could only hope he would never have to tell anyone of the secret.

So with a sigh the silver haired jounin cradled the twelve year old in his arms and let himself into her house, knowing that no one would be home until the sun was in the middle of the sky. The Clan Head himself would not be home for at least two more days, and Manami Kui had been spending her mornings at the temple at the back of the compound.

He set her down in the bathtub, her clothes still intact, and drew the water to such an awfully cold temperature he would have been positive she would wake up right away, had she been normal. Narrowing his eyes, he gripped his opposing wrist with one hand and watched as the chidori grew, before plunging the lightning chakra into the water and letting out a foul scream.

The girl awoke with a jolt, her pale purple eyes wide as she tried to take in her surroundings. Her breath grew short as they fell on Kakashi, her body relaxing as she realized what had happened.

"Seriously," she grumbled. "_Again_?"

"You should really get this checked out, Kikyo," Kakashi's voice was stern but it was not demanding, knowing fully well the young child had been trying to put off any diagnosis of chronic illness.

"I can't, Kakashi. You know what they'd do to me and I just... my ceremony will be the day I pass the chunin exams, okay? They can't know before then."

He debated arguing with her - how was she supposed to even become a genin if she couldn't even keep herself awake? How would it effect her team, her missions? How could she lead a clan when she couldn't even grasp what was happening to her own body? But he knew his words would be futile, that they were useless against such a strong-willed child. And he also knew that the same child was able to hide something so blunt and so obvious from one of the strongest shinobi to walk through Kohana untamed on a day to day basis, and that was untapped potential that would be wasted as a clan priestess.

"Promise me," he said, grabbing a towel from the rack near the tub as the girl stood up, her clothes sticking to every inch of her body. "That when your fate is decided, you will go get help."

Kikyo grinned, her pearly whites contrasting against her tanned skin.

"Of course, Kakashi! Thank you!"

And within the next second the young child was out the door, and Kakashi couldn't help but smile at how _fast_ she was; not only for her age, but for her condition. It was little quirks like that - her speed, her ability to recover so quickly - that convinced the man that Kikyo not becoming a kunoichi would be a disservice to both her and the Village as a whole.

...

"Kikyo Kui. You passed."

The blonde child practically skipped up to the table, snatching her forehead protector from one of the proctors and spinning around in a celebratory fashion. Iruka had to hold back a smile as the heir ran towards the door, almost missing the speech about being on time tomorrow to be grouped into her squad. With a dismissive wave the girl gave her okay and ran out of the door, and out of the academy altogether.

There was a sense of nostalgia, a small want to run towards the Uchiha compound and let Sasuke know she had passed, but she knew the boy would not be pleased with her presence. As much as she wanted to rekindled whatever feeling she could from the boy, she knew a lost cause when she saw one. So instead, she ran back home, hoping her mother would be done at the temple and ready to listen to all of the great things her daughter planned to accomplish.

...

Manami Kui was beautiful. While she did not carry the normal, pale purple eyes of her clan, her blue ones were striking enough paired with the bright blonde hair that had been tied back in the normal priestess braid. She stood out not only because of her beauty - beauty so rare for a clan full of brunettes - but for the fire she carried within her, and the way she could tame one of the most ferocious men in Kohana and possibly the world with a single glance.

It was no surprise that Kikyo would take most of her mothers genetics; a beautiful curved face, blonde hair, tanned skin - though that was common in the family, the rest was not. This was also because Manami was what one would call a half-breed, and while that would usually be looked down upon in a family that's most prized possession had to be passed down through their generations, it was a blessing for a clan whose numbers had fallen dramatically during the warring era. The last of a dying breed, Chibaki Itoruka married Hotoru Kui, and together they produced a beautiful child who was betrothed to the heir of the Kui as soon as she left her mothers womb.

It seemed like an awful way to live, but Manami never had any reservations about what she wanted in life. She did not want to be a kunoichi, she was much to fragile to ever take anyone's life, so instead she was trained under her mother in the temples Chibaki brought with her. Once Chibaki passed, Manami took over full time to make sure the temples remained as her mother left them, never dwindling under the watchful eyes of her priests.

She was in her robes when her daughter ran through the door, the forehead protector clung tightly to her head as she ran into her mothers arms.

"I'm assuming this is good news," Manami smiled. "My little kunoichi."

"Do you think Dad will be proud?" Kikyo grinned, though even the older woman could see the desperation that lingered behind it. With a sigh, Manami released her daughter and instead placed a hand on her head.

"Of course he will," she replied, and they both accepted the unspoken lie.

...

"_Kikyo_."

The girl stopped running, her front leg still in the air and her arms up in the sprinting fashion as her head turned to the side. Kakashi was standing there, looking a little more worn down than usual.

"I can't stop, Kakashi. I'm already so late and -"

"It's okay," he responded, and she took note of his shortness of breath. Had he been fighting before this? "We'll go together."

She went to ask how he knew where she was going, or why he would take time out of his day to go with her, but stopped when she realized what he meant. Her arms dropped and her legs relaxed as the grin spread across her face and she flung herself at him.

"SENSEI!"

...

As excited as Kikyo had been about Kakashi becoming her sensei, she instantly regretted the feeling as soon as she walked through the classroom doors only to have an eraser dropped on her head. Kakashi sighed behind her, looking up from his orange book only for a second to assess his four-man squad. An obnoxious blonde, an annoying pinkette, a brooding survivor, and a narcoleptic heir. How lucky could he have been?

"...I already hate you."

And all four of their ears dropped and looks of shame crossed their face, though Kikyo's look was more of an understanding than anything else. She was just as irritated as he was; she had been stuck with Naruto, the class idiot, Sakura, a more obsessive Sasuke fangirl than even _she_ had been in her earlier years, and Sasuke... the boy who hated her without justifiable cause.

Kakashi took them all to the roof and one by one they listed off their likes, dislikes, goals and ambitions. And all of them were just _so_ predictable Kikyo could barely keep herself from falling asleep - normally, this time. Kakashi glanced over to Kikyo to gesture her to continue, but what was she supposed to say? She didn't have any particular likes or dislikes; she disliked her narcoleptic episodes, but exposing her weakness was not going to happen in front of people who had no part in her life and would have no part in her life no matter what. What were her goals, what were her ambitions? Had she even thought of them before?

And then the words came out like vomit.

"My name is Kikyo Kui. I like..." she paused. "I dislike... when people get sick. And my goal is to be a great kunoichi and a great leader for my clan."

When it was all said and done she was the first to leave, sprinting away from the rooftop of the academy and towards the training grounds where she could just sit and _be_ and not have to worry about the mess she had just been grouped into.

Kakashi was the next to disappear, leaving the three by themselves to ponder what exactly just happened. Sakura turned to Sasuke, her eyes wide with ambition as she asked him if he wanted to get to know each other now that they were teammates. He brushed her off with an irritated sigh, standing up and exiting as Naruto threw himself at the pinkette. They were both so annoying - all three of them were so annoying, and being grouped with them would only hinder him in his one true goal.

But there was something strange about his other blonde teammate, something off about her. From what he could remember of the past few years at the academy, Kikyo had been one to always fight for his attention no matter what the cost. Now... now she was different, she was distant - almost as distant as he had been since their childhood friendship had abruptly ended.

And for some reason that irritated him even more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Russian Roulette **

**...**

**Chapter Two: Team Seven**

**...**

"I will not be late, I will not be late, I will _not_ be late."

The blonde heir was chanting to herself and she sprinting to the training grounds. She just _had_ to live in the compound on the complete opposite end of the village, didn't she? Life would be so much easier if her clan would just assimilate into every day Village life and stop with all their petty bull -

Kikyo stopped herself mid-thought, knowing fully well that thinking like that would _never_ fly with her father, and if she really wanted to accept her title as clan head when she was older and change the way her people lived she just had to hold it in a little bit longer. So with a sigh she kicked her feet forward, speeding up just a little bit more.

But it was futile, of course.

"You're late!"

Kikyo grinned, rubbing the back of her head as two out of the three of her teammates jumped up at her.

"But Kakashi's not here," she replied. "So am I _really_ late? Or were you all just early?"

"Kakashi-_sensei _said to be here at 5am!" her pink teammate responded, putting her hands on her hips in a bossy fashion as she gave the girl a once-over. "It's already 7!"

"And he's still not here," Kikyo argued back, waving here arms side to side out of annoyance. "So it doesn't count!"

"Tell her, Sasuke," Sakura said, turning towards the Uchiha - not even trying to hide the hearts in her eyes. "It's just not right."

Sasuke looked towards Kikyo, planning on just shooting Sakura a glare and telling them both to stop their obnoxious behavior but there was something about the Kui heir that made him stop. She looked... horrible, and it wasn't only because her usually parted hair wasn't covering her scarred left eye as it usually did. Her eyes looked like they were caved in, her skin paler than usual, and her palms were shaking even as she argued.

_Is she getting sick again? _he wondered, but he did not dare dwell on it, reminding himself who she was. _It doesn't matter._

"Sasuke?" Sakura called, snapping him out of his trance.

"You're both annoying," he replied curtly, making both girl's eyes go wide as they tried to assess what had just happened. Sasuke glanced over at Kikyo, and immediately knew that her expression was not one of self-pity; she was not upset thinking that Sasuke had called her annoying, he was only surprised that he had voiced it.

"Wow, Sasuke," Naruto commented. "You don't have to be so harsh."

And with an agitated sigh, the young avenger turned away from his teammates, wondering how the hell he was going to make it through this mission - and the rest of his stay on Team 7.

...

"Good morning everyone."

The three of them shot up instantly, fire in their eyes as they called out their sensei on his lateness. Only three, though, because Kikyo herself knew that if she said anything about it, she would be called out on hers as well. And while she was positive Kakashi already assumed it, she'd rather not relive the pain of having to hear Sakura shriek.

It wasn't that she hated Sakura, there was just so much baggage built up behind their relationship it wasn't worth trying to see past it anymore.

"Well, a black cat crossed my path so I had to take the long way..."

He ignored the stares of his students and placed a clock on the tree stump they had previously been leaning on. "It's set for noon. The assignment is simple - all you have to do is take these three bells from me. If you can't take them from me by noon, you go without lunch. You'll be tied to those posts and you'll watch while I eat my lunch in front of you."

"But there's four of us! How come there are only three bells?"

Kakashi laughed, glancing over his pink haired student with his only visible eye.

"We can only have three-man squads," Kakashi replied boredly. "So, no matter what one of you will end up tied to the post and sent back to the academy for failing. Then again... all four of you could fail, too."

"Mother of fu - "

"Kikyo."

She shut her mouth, eyes wide as she stared into the only visible eye of her sensei.

"Sorry."

There was no time for Kakashi to even announce the start of the match because Naruto was already racing towards him. Kikyo got up quickly, sprinting away into hiding in order to assess the situation at hand. Kakashi had to admit he wasn't surprised - Kikyo was a fighter, but she was smart enough to know that strategy was key to any fight. However, he couldn't help but wonder if it was really strategy she needed, or time to catch her breath.

Because she looked _awful._

She watched from the trees as Naruto went flying, jumping down quickly as she spotted a streak of metal.

"Those two are total idiots."

"Yeah."

Sasuke's head shot to the side, his eyes wide at the girl who had just appeared beside him. She was so close... and she just felt so familiar, so...

"What are you doing, Kikyo?" he asked, his voice harsh as his coal eyes narrowed at her.

"I say we tag team him. Remember that trick we used to get - "

"_Stop_."

She did, her lips tightening as she looked away from him. Before he even had a chance to take a breath she was gone, sprinting across the clearing and towards the silver haired man who stood in the center of it, his orange book hanging loosely in his hands. Sasuke watched as the girl circled Kakashi, her gloved hands hanging loosely behind her as she did so. Kikyo made four laps around him before she stopped, flinging her hands forward.

Both pairs of eyes widened as thin purple wires left the girl's finger tips, snaking their way around Kakashi's waist and aiming straight for the bells. Sasuke's in surprise, and Kakashi's in amusement - only for a second, though, because in an instant his body evaporated in smoke and was replaced by a wooden log.

"Dammit!"

"Nice try, Kikyo," Kakashi spoke from the trees. "Not good enough, but still decent."

Kikyo sighed, before falling back on to her bum and sitting on the ground - her legs spread out, leaning back on her arms, her head cocked back as she gasped for air.

"Yeah, yeah," she panted. "Can I forfeit?"

Kakashi raised his eyes in amusement.

"I'm surprised you're giving up so quickly."

"I know this isn't about the bells, Kakashi. Theres an underlying trick here and until I figure it out, why over exert myself?"

Kakashi nodded, a small smile hidden underneath his mask. Even though she could be seen as a hazard on the battlefield, she was too smart to waste her life as a civilian. His mind quickly wandered back to his battle just before this against the fiery red head, and he couldn't help but compare them. Both genius in their own right, relying on strategy before strength - and even though Shin did have the strength to match her strategy as opposed to Kikyo, he truly believed that some day Kikyo would be able to match her level, if not exceed it entirely.

That was, as long as her sickness remained under control.

Kikyo disapeared from sight just as a bunch of clones charged at Kakashi, which once again led to Naruto's defeat. Kikyo had managed to make it to the trees, her head spinning from the sudden speed she had exerted to get out of harm's way but she still managed to watch as her blonde teammate walked into Kakashi's trap. She bit her bottom lip, unsure of how this entire mess would play out, and her underlying anger for being placed on a team like this was leaking through her pours.

_He would have figured this out already,_ she thought, her eyes going soft as the memory of her cousin embedded itself into her mind. _He would have won this already, which is why he was chosen._

And then suddenly she felt a tightness in her chest and she grabbed the cloth above her heart and bit her lip harder, the stress of her body causing her to shake. _Not now, I can't do this now, I have to get through this. I have to show I'm worth something._

But it was too late, and her world was black once more and she was falling from the trees.

...

Kakashi sighed.

"The excersize is over. Everyone passes. Team seven begins their first mission tomorrow."

"Huh?" Three eyes snapped open, the excitement shining through. Naruto and Sakura jumped up, squealing as they did so.

"I did it! Believe it! I did it, I did it!"

It was Sasuke who stayed calm, his eyes scanning the grounds for any sign of their missing teammate. It was as if Naruto and Sakura hadn't even realized that their fourth member had disappeared completely. He frowned, catching Kakashi's eyes with an ever knowing silence that caused the elder man to raise his eyebrow in confusion. What was this - a sign of concern? Coming from the ever stoic Sasuke Uchiha, it was a definite surprise.

Even more so when the boy actually opened his mouth.

"And Kikyo?"

Naruto and Sakura fell silent as they realized their mistake, their eyes snapping towards Kakashi as well.

"She passed long before the three of you did."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean!?" Naruto jumped at the accusation, his blue eyes full of fire.

"She had figured out that there was an underlying factor to this test as soon as it begun, and then..." his eyes drifted towards Sasuke. "She attempted teamwork, even though she was denied."

"And then what? She figured out she passed and just went home?" Sakura asked.

Kakashi smiled, and he thanked himself silently for the mask that covered his face so his students could not see the worry that lined his face. "Don't worry about her, Sakura. There was a more urgent matter she had to attend to first... clan issues."

...

"Nice to see you're awake," Kakashi said, leaning over the girl on the forest floor. She was lying on her back, spread out like a star with her pale eyes staring directly into the sunlight. Kakashi took note of the scar over her eyes, a small parade of flashbacks encircling his mind as he remember the look on Sasuke's face when he realized Kikyo was not at the training field with the rest of their team.

"You mean nice to see I could wake up on my own this time," she responded dully. "What's wrong with me, Kakashi?"

"We need to get you checked, Kikyo."

"You know I can't. If you're here to tell me I flunked, go ahead. I expected as much anyway," she sighed, sitting up and crossing her arms over her knees. "I guess I'll be nothing but a washed up priestess, huh?"

Her eyes widened as she felt pressure on her head. She looked up, staring up at Kakashi who just ruffled her hair before giving her a small slap on the back of the head.

"Our first mission starts tomorrow. Don't be late."

And the smile that radiated from the girl's face was bright enough to put the sun to shame.


End file.
